False Face

as the weather grows cold wet and dark

and leaves begin to yellow and die

i am often haunted by a story

my father once told me

about a school dance he was

forced to attend a 

Halloween

dance

it’s difficult to picture my father in a costume 

even when young and i don’t recall

anymore what costume

he desired

but what he got was a clown 

mask or false face as he 

described it

to me

he refused this clown false face

but the family insisted and

forced him out into

the night

rather than attend that dance wearing

that clown false face he sat

in a forest alone and

waited 

as the cold creeps in and my father and i grow older

i too often picture him sitting alone in those

woods surrounded by darkness

and yellowet leaves

in the image in my mind he always sits

on a damp and crumbling log

wearing that clown

false face

a grotesque 1950s creation dark empty eyes staring 

the smile drooping with weight the strong 

reek of rubber filling my nostrils 

as we sit and 

wait

we sit together because i have

spent most of my

life hiding

too